Showing posts with label Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Show all posts

I've been DEPORTED!

No, not out of the country... but as of yesterday at noon I am back to my old self again - I had my port removed!  HOORAY!


Goodbye old friend, you helped me get through 9 rounds of poison and saved every vein in my arm.  You helped me have painless blood draws.  You were a good port, always had blood returns and never really made me that uncomfortable.  Thank you for helping me with one of my greatest fears - needles.  Even though it looked as though I had been abducted by aliens, I wore you with pride.  Goodbye port, hello FREEDOM!

Yesterday was frustrating.  We were at the hospital at 7:45 am, didn't get into a room until 9:30 then we waited until 11 before I actually went into surgery.  Unbelievable!  The port removal wasn't the most pleasant of experiences either.  It took the nurse twice to find my vein for the IV, of course.  I tried to tell her which vein to use, and she went for another one.  I am a pro at this by now, and she should have listened to me!  And when she did use the vein I told her to, it went right in.  Dang, why don't they listen to me?  Then, when they began to remove my port - I could feel the tugging and pulling necessary to get it out.  I didn't really like that.  Then, to top it off, he didn't numb it up enough and I felt the doc stitching me up.  OUCH.  It isn't as sore as it was when I had it put in, but it's definitely uncomfortable today.  I am working from home, because I literally couldn't imagine getting up and attempting to get myself ready this morning with one arm/hand.  I can't use my right arm/hand that much because that's the side my port was on.  Any movement of the skin on that side of my upper body hurts.  I haven't really had the chance to be excited yet because I'm in some pain.  But, it does feel good that I'm back to just ME - no foreign objects in my body.  YAY!

I am myself again, with 1 biopsy scar, 1 port scar and 4 radiation tattoos.  Not bad.  Not bad at all.

I checked my horoscope (I'm a Leo) this morning and this is what it said:  
Any health concerns you've had should start to fade today.  You've done good work.
How fitting is that?

No more doc appointments until June, wow - now that's something to be excited about!

Love to all,

Kerri

  

First Follow-Up

Hey all,


Just got back from my first follow-up appointment at Dr. H's office, and everything looks good!  As expected, there is a lot of scar tissue left over from radiation.  I have read that there is just no way around that.  More great news - I get to have my port removed!  I will be getting it out on Tuesday, April 14th at 8 am.  I can't WAIT to get that thing out, I think I will feel completely normal after that.  I will be FREEEEEEEEEEE!  

My next CT scan will be sometime around the end of June.  That one will be extremely important - it will be the first "comparable" scan from this last one.  BIG deal.  So, if you all could continue to pray for me I would really appreciate it!

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend - 75 and sunny tomorrow in ATL, just can't beat that! 

Love to all,

Kerri

Cancer-Proof Your Life

My scan went well on Friday, they got the IV in the first time and since I numbed my hand it didn't hurt a bit!  YAY!  I have my first follow-up appointment with my oncologist this Friday at 2 pm.  I'll let you all know how that goes!  I hope all of you survived the torrential rains this past weekend - all I can say in one word is "yuck".  I am so happy the sun in shining today!
Here's a good read for yall.  I saw this on Prevention.com, very interesting stuff! 


By Denise Foley, Prevention

We're all grown-ups here—nightmares aren't a big problem anymore. We're calm, we're cool, we're mostly collected...until it comes to the C-word. For adults, cancer is the thing that goes bump in the night; that bump gets louder when family or friends are diagnosed. Whether your risk is monumental or blessedly average, we know you want to protect yourself. So we've combed through research, interrogated experts, and found cutting-edge strategies to help keep you safe.

Worship a wee bit of sun.
Keyword "wee" here. People who get the most vitamin D, which lies dormant in skin until ultraviolet rays activate it, may protect themselves from a variety of cancers, including non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, breast, and colon. Ironically, it even improves survival rates of melanoma, the most serious skin cancer. But 10 to 15 minutes a few days a week is all it takes to benefit. (Or you could try a supplement—aim for 400 IU a day.) If you're out any longer than that, slather on the sunscreen.

Eat an orange every day.
It just may zap a strain of the H. pylori bacteria that causes peptic ulcers and can lead to stomach cancer. Researchers in San Francisco found that infected people with high levels of vitamin C in their blood were less likely to test positive for the cancer-causing strain.

Listen to Katie Couric.
Though colonoscopies are about as popular as root canals, if you're 50 or older, get one. Colorectal cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in the United States. Don't think you're off the hook because you got a digital fecal occult blood test at your last checkup: Research by the Veterans Affairs Cooperative Study last year found that the test missed 95% of the cases. (Schedule your first colonoscopy before your 50th if you have a family history of colon cancer.)

Steam a little green.
Piles of studies have shown that piles of broccoli help stave off ovarian, stomach, lung, bladder, and colorectal cancers. And steaming it for 3 to 4 minutes enhances the power of the cancer-fighting compound sulforaphane, which has been shown to halt the growth of breast cancer cells. (Sorry, microwaving doesn't do the trick; it strips out most antioxidants.) Get more protection by sprinkling a handful of selenium-rich sunflower seeds, nuts, or mushrooms on your greens. Researchers are discovering that sulforaphane is about 13 times more potent when combined with the mineral selenium.

Pick a doc with a past.
Experience—lots of it—is critical when it comes to accurately reading mammograms. A study from the University of California, San Francisco, found that doctors with at least 25 years' experience were more accurate at interpreting images and less likely to give false positives. Ask about your radiologist's track record. If she is freshly minted or doesn't check a high volume of mammograms, get a second read from someone with more mileage.

Drink joltless java.
Downing 2 or more cups of decaf a day may lower the incidence of rectal cancer by 52%, finds a study from two large and long-term research projects—the Nurses' Health Study and the Health Professionals Follow-Up Study from Harvard University. One theory is that coffee increases bowel movements, which helps to reduce the risk. Why decaf reigns supreme, however, remains a mystery.

Drop 10 pounds.
Being overweight or obese accounts for 20% of all cancer deaths among women and 14% among men, notes the American Cancer Society. (You're overweight if your body mass index is between 25 and 29.9; you're obese if it's 30 or more.) Plus, losing excess pounds reduces the body's production of female hormones, which may protect against breast, endometrial, and ovarian cancers. Even if you're not technically overweight, gaining just 10 pounds after the age of 30 increases your risk of developing breast, pancreatic, and cervical, among other cancers.

Make like a monkey.
Or a bunny. Women who ate four to six antioxidant-laden bananas a week cut their risk of kidney cancer by 54%, compared with those who didn't eat them at all, found an analysis of 61,000 women at the Karolinska Institutet in Sweden. Gnawing on root vegetables such as carrots did the same.

Get naked with a friend.
You'll need help examining every inch of your body—including your back, scalp, and other hard-to-see places—for possible changes in the size or color of moles, blemishes, and freckles. These marks could spell skin cancer. Women, take special note of your legs: Melanoma mainly occurs there. For the guys, the trunk, head, and neck are the most diagnosed spots. While you're at it, check your fingernails and toenails, too. Gray-black discoloration or a distorted or elevated nail may indicate the disease. And whether you see changes or not, after age 40, everyone should see a dermatologist yearly.

See into the future.
Go to Yourdiseaserisk.harvard.edu to assess your chance of developing 12 types of cancer, including ovarian, breast, and colon. After the interactive tool estimates your risk, you'll get personalized tips for prevention.

Pay attention to pain.
If you're experiencing a bloated belly, pelvic pain, and an urgent need to urinate, see your doc. These symptoms may signal ovarian cancer, particularly if they're severe and frequent. Women and physicians often ignore these symptoms, and that's the very reason that this disease can be deadly. When caught early, before cancer has spread outside the ovary, the relative 5-year survival rate for ovarian cancer is a jaw-dropping 90 to 95%.

Get calcium daily.
Milk's main claim to fame may also help protect your colon. Those who took calcium faithfully for 4 years had a 36% reduction in the development of new precancerous colon polyps 5 years after the study had ended, revealed Dartmouth Medical School researchers. (They tracked 822 people who took either 1,200 mg of calcium every day or a placebo.) Though the study was not on milk itself, you can get the same amount of calcium in three 8-ounce glasses of fat-free milk, along with an 8-ounce serving of yogurt or a 2- to 3-ounce serving of low-fat cheese daily.

Sweat 30 minutes a day.
One of the best anticancer potions is a half hour of motion at least 5 days a week. Any kind of physical activity modulates levels of androgens and estrogen, two things that can protect women against estrogen-driven cancers such as ovarian and endometrial, as well as some types of breast cancer. The latest proof comes by way of a recent Canadian study that found that women who get regular, moderate exercise may lower their risk of ovarian cancer by as much as 30%. Bonus: All that moving might speed everything through your colon, which may help stave off colon cancer.

Stamp out smoking—all around you.
Lung cancer is well known as one of the main hazards of smoking. But everything the smoke passes on its way to the lungs can also turn cancerous: mouth, larynx, and esophagus. The fun doesn't stop there. Smokers are encouraging stomach, liver, prostate, colorectal, cervical, and breast cancers as well. The good news: If you give up the cigs today, within 15 years, your lung cancer risk will drop to almost presmoking lows. Share that news with the people who puff around you, because exposure to someone else's smoke can cause lung cancer, and it may boost your chances of cervical cancer by 40%.

Step away from the white bread.
If you eat a lot of things with a high glycemic load—a measurement of how quickly food raises your blood sugar—you may run a higher risk of colorectal cancer than women who eat low-glycemic-load foods, finds a Harvard Medical School study involving 38,000 women. The problem eats are mostly white: white bread, pasta, potatoes, and sugary pastries. The low-glycemic-load stuff comes with fiber.

Have your genes screened.
Do you have a strong family history of any kind of cancer or multiple cancers? Talk with your doctor about genetic counseling. For instance, nearly everyone born with familial adenomatous polyposis (the genetic predisposition to colon cancer) develops the disease by age 40 if preventive surgery isn't done. Knowing this early can aid in prevention and early detection.

Request a better breast scan.
If you're at high risk of breast cancer—you have the BRCA1 or BRCA2 genetic mutation, for example—ask your doctor to pair your routine mammogram with an MRI. A recent study found that together, the two picked up 94% of tumors; mammography alone detected just 40% and MRI, 77%.

Grill smarter.
Cooking your food over an open flame is a great way to cut calories. Unfortunately, it can also raise your cancer risk: The grill's high temps can trigger substances in muscle proteins to form cancer-causing compounds called hetero-cyclic amines, or HCAs. But avoiding this potential hazard is easy; simply keep gas jets low or wait until the charcoal turns into glowing embers before you start cooking. Protect yourself even more by lacing your burgers with rosemary (and perhaps other antioxidant-rich herbs such as basil, oregano, or thyme). This helps reduce the amount of some HCAs in meat, a Kansas State University study found. Also helpful: Microwaving meat ahead of time helps disable HCA formation and cuts down on grilling time.

Keep your house clean.
Yet another reason to love your Swiffer: Active postmenopausal women who got most of their exercise from housework cut their risk of breast cancer by 30%, Canadian researchers say.

Let garlic lie.
Thanks to this bulbed wonder, you can ward off vampires and stave off cancer. To preserve the potential cancer-fighting power of garlic, chop it up and let it sit a bit. Research suggests that heating garlic can block 90% of the activity of alliinase, the enzyme that helps to form a cancer-fighting compound. Alliinase is activated when the cloves are crushed or cut, but if cut garlic cools its heels for 5 to 10 minutes before heating, enough compounds are formed to survive cooking.

Check for radon.
Exposure to this odorless, radioactive gas that's produced by the natural decay of uranium is the second leading cause of lung cancer in the United States, according to the EPA. Test your home to see if you're safe. The National Safety Council's National Radon Hotline (800-767-7236) offers low-cost test kits; they're also available at hardware stores.

Play hot tomato.
Red fruits (watermelon, tomato, pink grapefruit) are loaded with lycopene, a substance that has been proven time and time again to be a potent cancer fighter. It seems that heating said fruits makes the lycopene easier for the body to use, which explains why men who eat a lot of ketchup, pizza (it's in the sauce), and spaghetti (ditto) are far less likely to get prostate cancer.

Ditch the wieners.
You can smother 'em in all the ketchup you want, but you can't negate a hot dog's, well, negatives. A new study of 190,545 people finds that eating a wiener daily may boost your risk of pancreatic cancer, which is nearly always fatal, by 67%. Same goes for sausage and other processed meats.

The Perfect Cancer- fighting Salad
Quick. Can you spot the cancer fighters at the salad bar? Build yourself some powerful protection with these ingredients.

Start with leafy greens.
They contain a hefty amount of the B vitamin folate, which has been shown to reduce one's chances of getting colorectal, ovarian, and breast cancers. In the latest study, researchers at Vanderbilt University found that women who ate the most dark greens were among the least likely to get breast cancer. Apparently, folate can halt changes in DNA that trigger runaway cell growth, the main characteristic of cancer.

Add shredded carrot.
In a study from Brigham and Women?s Hospital in Boston, women who ate just five servings of four raw carrot sticks a week had a 54% decrease in their risk of getting ovarian cancer, compared with women who ate them less than once a month. Carrots may also reduce your risk of kidney cancer.

Serve yourself some tomatoes.
If you don't feel like turning up the heat on your tomatoes, you can still get some of their cancer-shielding benefits. German research on 165 colonoscopy patients found that those who had the lowest blood level of lycopene, one of the chemicals that give tomatoes their color, had the highest rate of colorectal adenomas, a precursor to colo-rectal cancer. Toss a few into your guy's salad: They also reduce the risk of prostate cancer.

Heap on beans.
Women who ate beans at least twice a week were 24% less likely to develop breast cancer than those who ate them less often, report Harvard School of Public Health researchers, who analyzed data from 90,630 people. Legumes may lessen risk of breast cancer, thanks to their ability to suppress the production of enzymes that encourage tumor growth.

Add a little fish.
Want to add something hardy to your lunchtime salad? Go wild with salmon. When B6-rich foods (like salmon) are eaten with folate-filled foods (dark leafy greens), they can help reduce the recurrence of colorectal adenomas, a precursor to colorectal cancer, by 39%, a University of Arizona study found. Salmon may also help shield regular eaters from skin cancer, British research found.

Splash on some vinaigrette.
Mixing your favorite vinegar with olive oil can also help prevent breast cancer. Scientists from Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine found that oleic acid in olive oil dramatically cuts the levels of the cancer gene Her-2/neu, associated with highly aggressive breast tumors with poor prognosis.

Garnish with citrus peel.
They're like eating sunscreen—but they taste better. Limonene—a compound that gives oranges, lemons, and limes their scent—is linked to a 34% reduction in skin cancer, finds a University of Arizona study of 400 people.


Hope you enjoyed!  

Love to all,

Kerri

A Learning Experience

Hey all,


Over the past few weeks, I have been thinking about everything that has happened since the end of August.  Right after radiation, I had a feeling of "is this it?  what the heck just happened to me?", or "I beat cancer and all I get is this lousy t-shirt."  I have also had feelings of disbelief - like I absolutely cannot believe I had cancer.  The weeks before my diagnosis, we went on a trip to Biloxi and had a big party at our house - I felt like a million bucks and was the picture of health.  All of those pictures are now my benchmark of when I didn't have cancer (or didn't know it yet.)  It is really weird, and tough to come to terms with.  I try to think back to when the cancer may have started, and I find it so frustrating that I will never know when it started or what caused it.  My oncologist said I had cancer for 1-2 years before I found that lump.  I could have had it when we got married?  What the?  When I was diagnosed, I immediately went into "warrior mode" and wanted to do anything and everything I could to get rid of it.  You really don't have time to process the devastating news you've been dealt.  I think back on every single thing that I've had to do to beat this beast - and it's seriously remarkable.  I am now a "cancer survivor" and that's just crazy.  I never, ever thought I would have cancer this early in my life.

Not only do I think about all of my medical experiences, but I also think about all of my personal experiences too.  That day I got the news that it was most likely cancer, I will never EVER forget that day.  It was the day of the first Carolina game of 2008, that Thursday night.  I often wonder just how fast news spread to my hometown - I bet it had North Augusta in a frenzy.  There isn't a town that loves gossip more than NA, and things spread like wildfire.  I had people coming out of the woodwork sending cards, flowers, emails, etc.  People I hadn't heard from in 10 years, and people I didn't even know were sending things - I was literally dumbfounded at the thoughtfulness of certain people.   Then on the other hand, it scared some people.  Some didn't know what to do or say in a crisis situation - and others knew exactly what to say and do. It was really eye-opening seeing who is the first, and who is the latter.   It's funny how people act towards me now.  Some always ask how things are going, and others I find going out of their way to ignore me.  I will tell you right now that some friends are worth their weight in gold, and the others just aren't worth the time anymore.  It's funny how a crisis will automatically show you who cares about you, and who doesn't.  I have the best family and friends, and love each and every one of you - you know who you are!

I also think its funny when I think of myself before all of this - I was deathly afraid of needles.  I think when I heard the word "cancer" that was one of the things that I immediately thought of was "there is going to be a lot of needles involved with this".  I think I did pretty good with it, considering the one that went in my hip for the bone marrow biopsy was massive.  Blah, I don't even want to think about that!

Dealing with the emotional side of all of this has been easier than I would have thought.  The pressure of this kind of diagnosis alone will make some people crazy.  Cancer is one of the scariest words in the English language.  I have had to deal with my own mortality. 75 years ago this would have been a death sentence.  I have had to deal with knowing that this cancer kills people and that people die from it all the time.  It is one of the rarest cancers that exist and even though they say "if you're gonna get cancer, this is the one you want" people still die from it.  It's still cancer!  According to the American Cancer Society, 8,220 people were diagnosed with Hodgkin's in 2008.  Notice the number there?  Isn't that ironic?  For those of you who don't get it, my birthday is 8/22.  Anyways, I am on a hodgkin's lymphoma forum, and since I have been a member 5 people have passed away.  It's rough stuff.  I know that these feelings are natural, and anyone with a life threatening illness has thought the same.

I have come out of the experience a much stronger person than I used to be.  I have found some qualities in myself that I didn't know I had.  I have found that forgiveness is a lot better for you than holding a grudge.  I was a notorious grudge-holder before, and I find that it's just not worth the energy anymore.  I think it's because I am so unbelievably loyal, and whenever anyone does something to me that I think is wrong I don't forget it.

I could write a book on all of the things I have experienced and learned since September, it's an unbelievable amount of information!

Here are just a few of the things I've learned:

1.  That prayer is one of the most powerful things on earth
2.  I am blessed with the most caring husband on the planet
3.  That family always comes first
4.  Hold on tight to good friends, they are few and far between
5.  To not ask "why me?"
6.  Life is 10% what are you dealt, and 90% how you react to it
7.  Your attitude will make or break you
8.  That this is a rare time in my life where I will appreciate the little things
9.  To love my "new normal" life
10.  That my body is incredibly strong.  The fact the I never lost all of my hair, never threw up once, and never got a low blood count is nothing short of astounding.

After all of this, I now appreciate the small stuff.

Love to all!

Kerri




Happy St. Patty's Day!


This past weekend we traveled to Columbia, SC to visit our friends Chris and Laura Herron, and go to the St. Patty's celebration in 5 Points!  We had a blast!  Thanks to the Herron's again for being so hospitable, we had SO MUCH FUN!

Hope you all have an awesome St. Patty's Day, wear green tomorrow!

Love yall!

Kerri

2 weeks out

Hey everybody, 


Well, I've hit the 2 week mark!  I wanted to give everyone an update on how I've been feeling over the past two weeks.  Right after radiation, I had a minor sore throat for about 6 days and I think I actually irritated it myself by eating bigger bites than I could handle.  My fault for trying to stuff my face with food (what's new right?  ha!)  It gets annoying trying to eat little bitty small bites all the time!  I just wanted take a huge chunk out of something because I was so hungry, and I did several times!  I figured my body just needed more food (fuel) because it was trying to heal itself.  So, I ended up with some soreness and my throat closed up a little bit.  No biggie, its gone now!  I was also pretty tired that first week after radiation.  I tried to exercise the day after, not a good idea!  I wasn't right for the rest of the day, I felt so weak - it was awful.  That was the worst of it though.  I took it easy the rest of the week, and didn't try to push myself.  It worked.  I also never had any radiation "burns" like I was expecting.  My chest is a beautiful tan color right now from it, but of course, I wish it wasn't.  I know that it's from deadly radiation, not the beautiful sunshine.  That's ok though, it had to be done.  I will have to watch this area of my body very closely for the rest of my life.  Skin cancer occurs a lot after radiation, sometimes it takes as long as 20 years to form.  But, I won't be playing around with that.  I have to have pretty high spf on my neck and chest for a year.  Wow.  So, as I write this today I am feeling pretty darn good.  I wouldn't say I'm 100% yet - but I'm getting there.  I have begun to eat things that are good for healing, promote energy and overall well-being.  These are things I couldn't eat during treatment as they actually have super high antioxidants.  Things like blueberries, raspberries, green tea, dark greens, etc.  I'm starting to buy everything organic.  I have begun to walk on the treadmill consistently.  I will be back to my old self by summer - yall just wait and see!  I'm going to come out of this ordeal a much healthier person than I used to be!  It's kind of exciting!

My first post treatment scan is scheduled for March 27th.  I am hoping radiation hasn't left a lot of scar tissue.  Hodgkin's Lymphoma is notorious for leaving large amounts of scar tissue.  Please continue to pray for clean scans from here on out.

Happy Friday to all of you!  I hope you all have a great weekend!

Love to all,

Kerri

TEAM IN TRAINING!


Hey there,

Several weeks ago, I was approached by one of my Dad's co-workers, Debbie Markowski.  She is running in the Rock N Roll Seattle Half Marathon on June 27th for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training!  She has asked if I would be her "personal honored hero", and of course I said yes!  I was stunned by her caring, thoughtful words - she doesn't even know me, and for her to want to have me as her personal hero just brings tears to my eyes.  I already know what a sweet, loving person she is and I've never even met her.  So, please take a minute and visit her website, and if you can - please donate!  All donations are 100% tax deductible.  

Thank you again Debbie for what you are doing, you are an amazing person!  There just aren't enough people in the world like you!  Good luck with your training and fundraising - we're all pulling for you!


Love to all,

Kerri


DONE!!!!!!!!!!


I HAVE FINISHED ALL TREATMENTS!!!!!!!!  I am so happy!  YAY YAY YAAAAAAAAAAY!

Here's a quick update...

After that last post, they decided to stop treatment for 2 days.  Well, what wonders that did!  My throat completely stopped hurting, and hasn't hurt since!  I resumed treatment last Thursday, and have gone every day (except Sat and Sun) since.  I have been eating normal food, still slower than usual but that's ok.  So all in all, it wasn't that bad.  Thank you LORD!  The beginning was far worse than the end, and I really thought I was going to be in some serious pain right now.  I was pretty scared, as I've heard of people having to be admitted into the hospital during radiation because their throat is so swollen.  Glad it never got to that point.  It did hurt for several days, but it was never terrible.

I've got that stupid mask in the car right now - after all of you have seen it, I'm gonna burn that sucker!  I thought about bringing it into work, but I didn't want to give anyone nightmares, I'm serious - it's that freaky looking.

I hope all of you have a fantastic weekend - it's pouring rain here right now and is supposed to be like this all weekend, but Ben and I are gonna make the best of it!  He's taking me out to dinner tonight to celebrate, he's so sweet!

Thank yall so much for the phone calls, texts, emails, gifts, etc - you all mean the world to me.

Love to all,

Kerri

PS...hope yall are enjoying the music!  If you haven't heard it, turn on your speakers!

Radiation Update

Hey all,


I hope all of you had an awesome Valentines Day Weekend, we sure did!  Ben had a dozen roses delivered to my work on Friday, and then took me out to Twist Sat night - it's an awesome restaurant in Buckhead.  We had a great time, thank you again Ben you are so sweet!  Love you!

I am writing to update all of you on radiation.  I have 10 treatments under my belt!  At the end of last week, I could feel my throat beginning to close up a little bit.  It never really hurt, and it never got to the point where I had to change my eating habits, it just took a little longer to eat because I have to chew everything a little bit more.  So I go this morning and have my 10th treatment, and also met with Dr. Gargus.  He said that because I am having these symptoms, he wants to hold off treatment for 2 days.  We will resume radiation on Thursday.  He said in all of his years of experience, its better to have 2 days off in the middle of treatment to let yourself heal a little, than to just go non-stop.  He said it can get pretty bad, and that people have been hospitalized because they can't swallow at all - not even fluids, and they get severely dehydrated.  Well I surely don't want that to happen!  So, as I am sitting here, I can feel my throat beginning to hurt.  Its not bad yet, but its not comfortable either.  So, I am glad he made this decision, or by Friday I would be in severe pain.  Its the worst in the morning, and I almost choked on my vitamin this morning, gross!

Yall keep praying for me, please pray that I don't have to drink that ensure stuff, yuck!

I think I'll go with mashed potatoes, milkshakes, and mac and cheese the rest of the week.  I guess that isn't so bad, huh?

Love yall!  

Kerri

In a better place!

After a weekend of doing nothing but sleeping (13 hours Sat night!), walking, going to church and hanging out with Ben, I am in a better place.  The weather this past weekend was just gorgeous, enough to put anyone in a better mood.  That last post was tough to even type out.  I just didn't feel like myself last week.  I sincerely hope I don't get like that again.  But things are getting better!  7 radiation treatments are history, with 10 to go.  I'm slowly but surely getting there!  I still hate that mask, but they did cut the eyes out of it for me which has helped a tremendous amount.  Now the mesh marks are only on my nose, so I don't look like freak walking into work.  I got a few stares one day, I'm sure people were wondering just what the heck I had been doing.  I can tell the sore throat is coming, its starting to feel a little weird - but no pain yet.  I have radiation every day at 8:45 am, with my last one being February 25th.  I can't wait for that day!


It's weird how every time we go to church, the pastor seems to speak directly to me.  His sermon this past Sunday was about "Gods Silence".  It struck a chord with me, and I instantly began to feel a weight being lifted off of my shoulders.  Psalm 22: 1-2 is the verse he referenced:
1.  My God, My God why have you abandoned me? Why so far from my call for help, from my cries of anguish?  2.  My God, I call by day, but you do not answer; by night, but I have no relief.
Our pastor explained that when you think God has forsaken about you, and he doesn't seem to be listening - what really is happening is much deeper.  Gods silence does not mean He is in inactive.  Gods silence does not mean He is unable.   And lastly, Gods silence does not mean He is inefficient.  What He is doing is really part of a much larger scale, and just because you don't think he is listening and you feel that you are being ignored, He has something so much bigger in store for you.  I thought this sermon was something we all needed to hear, and that's why I have shared it with you.

A bit of good news too - I have new hair growing in - YAAAAAAAAAAY!  It sticks straight up, but I don't care! 

Hope all of you have a wonderful Valentine's Day - what a great holiday!

I would also like to congratulate my Big Brother and Brandy on their new house, CONGRATS!

Again, thanks for the prayers!  Love yall!

Kerri

Emotional Wreck

Hey there,


I have had a tough week.  My emotions are out of control, and honestly, don't know how much longer I can take this!  I have read that coming off the chemo can really throw you for a loop, but I was hoping that it didn't happen to me.  Well it did.  It is awful!  I have been exhausted all week, and one minute I am mad and another I want to cry.  I have been asleep by 9 pm every night, and a couple nights I wanted to crawl into bed as soon as I got home from work.  Some mornings I wake up with tears in my eyes, I mean, what is going on?  It's gotta be my hormones just totally off balance - because I NEVER act like this.  I am the most laid back person there is, and this feeling kind of has me down a little.  I have made it through 4 radiation treatments, with 13 to go.  Im getting there, I guess.  I think I am also worried about getting sore from radiation soon, I don't want to have a terrible sore throat, that is the most uncomfortable feeling in the world.  So, we have decided against traveling to Charlotte this weekend, I am going to try to clear my head and just see if I can get myself out of this funk I am in.  I may sleep the entire weekend, I'm so tired from all this stress.  I am sorry Mrs. Linda and Mr. Steve, we will make it up to yall, I promise!

PLEASE continue to pray for me - I need every prayer I can get, and Ben too - he has to put up with me!

Love yall, Kerri




Well done please, with grill marks if you can

I will start with my "block out" day, which took place yesterday at 11:30.  My Mom and Brandy went with me, and it was helpful to have them there!  Thank yall for coming!  We get there and ask to see Dr. Gargus as I wanted Brandy to hear what he had to say.  We met with him and everything went fine.  I did tell him about what happened last Wednesday with my hair, so hopefully that won't happen to anyone else in the future.  I wasn't right for days after that!  Of course he didn't know, why would anyone tell their boss when they mess up?  I feel better now that he knows.  So, on to "block outs".  They take me to change from the waist up, and I go lay down on the table.  Now the block outs are little pieces of metal in the machine they position perfectly over my lungs and heart to block the radiation.  I am thinking this isn't going to take a long time, I mean, how could it?  Think again!  After I lay down, they put that dreaded mask on me (dang it!) and the positioning begins.  They begin to x-ray me to see if I'm in the right position.  Well, an HOUR LATER, this is beginning to really bother me.  My neck hurts like someone karate chopped it, my elbows are killing me, and I am starting to feel myself getting really mad.  Keep in mind I have been laying with that mask on me that is bolted to the table, and its so tight I can barely blink an eyelash or swallow.  Ouch!  Well, they FINALLY get me into the correct position, and yes I am glad they are so picky but I am telling you that was NOT fun.  Ok now on to TATOOS!  While I am laying there basically naked from the waist up, they put 4 spots of blue ink on me, and insert needles in there so I am permanently tattooed.  I feel like a human pin cushion.  Fun stuff!  So, that was yesterday in a nutshell.  I wasn't in a very good mood the rest of the day.

On to today.  Here is a picture of the machine that I will be face to face with until Feb. 25th.

Looks like something right out of a sci fi movie right?  Well, that's kind of what I felt like in there today.  I call it the "torture chamber".  I kept telling myself all day that I was just going to be calm and not freak out.  So, I get there around 1:45 and change clothes.  They call me back and begin to position me on the table.  Once again, they strap my face to the table.  I hate that mask, I swear I will burn it when this is all said and done.  Burn baby burn!  I get into the right position, and they leave the room.  The last thing they say as they leave the room is "Don't move".  My heart starts to POUND - I mean, I thought I was going to have to yell for them to come back in there.  I'm talking semi panic attack.  I can feel myself starting to freak out, but then I think "If I move, this will take twice as long - DON'T MOVE".  I hear the machine about to go off, and I am scared out of my mind.  When a huge, powerful machine is pointed at your neck it is not a good feeling.  I feel the radiation begin, and it's slightly warm.  It lasts for about 30 seconds.  The machine revolves around me, and then goes under my back and radiates through my back as well.  The lights come on, all done!  It's over, thank you Lord I made it!  I guess just the entire experience is freaking me out.  I handled chemo like a rock star, but this is just completely different - just not what I expected I guess.  I think everything is just uncomfortable, laying there on a hard table, completely naked from the waist up with my face in a mesh mask that is bolted down.  Doesn't sound like fun, does it?  It will get better, it has to!  Thank you all for praying for me, I really appreciate it.  

1 down, 16 to go!

Terrible Day

Hey all, 


I had some kinda day yesterday.  I woke up in kind of a bad mood, and I didn't quite know why.  I thought it was the weather because it was really gross out yesterday, but I think my body was just foreseeing what would happen.  I had my follow-up appointment at my radiation oncologist's office yesterday.  I get there, and a technician comes out to get me and says this is the day we "will figure everything out".  I thought oh well good, we can get the ball rolling ya know?  So, they take me back and explain that they will be doing a "mask" today.  I had read about these online.  They didn't look like much fun at all.  But, I figured hey, no needles, who cares!  Now a mask looks something like this:

Freaky huh?

First they lay me down on the scanner, and start to position me so I am completely straight.  Then, they begin to mark me up.  I will have to be in the same position every day, so these marks are pretty important.  They scan me once to see if I'm in the right position, and it looks good.  So, they proceed to explain how this mask thing will work.  It supposedly keeps my head in the same position, sure looks like it to me!  They freaking bolt it to the table!  So, they begin the process.  They dip that thick mesh stuff in hot water, then slam it over my face.  It was awkward, to say the least.  I felt like I couldn't breathe for a minute.  They begin fanning it so it will dry.  After it has dried a bit, they do the CT Scan on me from head to stomach.  OK, no big deal.  Everything is still going pretty good at this point.  Then this is when my day went from good to just plain terrible.  They get me out of the scanner and begin to pull the mask off.  It won't come off - IT IS STUCK TO HALF OF MY HAIR.  Without any warning, the technician rips the right side of the mask off, hair and all.  When she pulls it up a little, I can see about 30 hairs stuck to it, I mean long hairs from the root.  I am in shock.  She is repeatedly saying she's sorry, and I am kind of like, is this seriously happening right now?  She says, I'm going to need  you to get up and look in the mirror to see if you can get the other side of this mask off.  Needless to say, I have to rip the thing from the left side of my hair, I didn't rip it out, just broke it off.  Yall should have seen my hair.  It looked like someone had just chewed it up, swallowed it, and spit it out.  I am still in shock at this point.  I get dressed, she gives me my next appt date, and I get out to the car.  Then it hits me.  I burst into tears, I mean sobbing whining tears.  I couldn't believe what had just happened.  The hair I had worked so freaking hard to keep was just ripped out by some idiot that can't do her job.  Now, granted - you all won't be able to tell some hair is gone, but I sure can.  It just looks worse than it did before I went in there.  I didn't deserve that.  I don't deserve any of the crap I've been through for the past 5 months.  With that said, my sister-in-law Brandy and my Mom will be attending my next appointment with me on Monday.  Brandy is a radiation oncology technician in Augusta, GA - and she knows exactly what should and shouldn't be done to me.  She said she didn't even know why they did that mask.  She also said that they should have known the mask would stick in my hair, and it was like they had never done that before.  I am still just fuming mad over the whole situation.  

So, yesterday was a terrible day.  I hope I never have a day like again.  EVER.

My next appointment is Monday at 11:30 - I will be tattooed then (oh joy!) and I will begin radiation on Tuesday, Feb. 3rd.

FUN STUFF PEOPLE!

Aren't you jealous?

Love yall, I will be in touch.

Kerri

The wrath of Gracie, LOST and radiation


For those of you who have never met our furry child Gracie before, well - you're missing out.  She's part human, part cat.  We treat her as our child.  I swear she knows every word I say, and she is so freaking spoiled that she actually sleeps on a heating pad every night.  I know, I'm a sucker for all things furry and cute, especially her.  So, I decided that it was time for her annual check-up and took her into the vet's office Monday night.  Thank goodness Ben got home early and was able to go with me.  First off, as soon as we walk in the door she buries herself in the blanket I have in her carrier.  I haven't seen her that scared in a while.  Poor thing!  We get into a room and the vet comes in and wants to weigh her.  I somehow manage to get her up on the counter, and she weighs a whopping 13 pounds, 9 ounces.  They were like, "wow, she's solid".  I think what they meant to say, is "What the heck are you feeding this cat?  She's a chunky monkey!"  Keep in mind that Gracie is the most beautiful blue point siamese cat you've ever seen - and siamese cats are solid muscle.  She actually looks skinny to me, but has this little pouch of a tummy that the vet says they refer to as a "sweeper".  I thought that was cute!  Now Gracie is on a diet, she only gets half of her wet food at night.  So anyways, I ask if they can clip her nails for me.  Sure no big deal right?  HA!  Think again.  They began and when they got to the third nail, all hell broke loose.  She started to growl and make noises I've never heard before.  She was PISSED.  They stopped and said they had never seen a cat act like that before.  They decided to give her the shots first, and then got back to trimming those razors she had for nails.  They began again, and this time she tries to bite the assistant!  They have to go get a towel and put it over her face, and the vet then says to me "I'm sweating bullets"  - I didn't know whether to laugh or be embarassed.  Dang!  With every nail they cut, the more violent she becomes.  They finally cut all of them, and thank goodness because one more and I think she would have strangled herself. So, that was our fun Monday night!  Gotta love our sweet angel Gracie, but man, she is a pistol!

So, LOST was new last night, we've been waiting for this for forever!  The whole show was about time travel.  This is just getting to be almost too much.  Anyone else feel the same?  I don't care though, its still the best show on TV.  I just wanted to give it a shout-out cause we just love the show so much.  They don't make'em like that anymore!

On to radiation - you know, the everyday beam to the throat I will be getting here in the next few weeks.  I met with Dr. John Gargus this morning, and he is such a sweet man.  His daughter is even thinking about going to USC, which made me like him even more.  He explained that I would be having "involved field radiation" to the throat, chest and left underarm area.  He said that the only thing that would really annoy me would be a sore throat.  I almost said, "yeah and driving here every day for almost a month".  Gotta do what I'm told I guess.  I may also have some fatigue towards the end, but he said it wouldn't last long.  Anyways, I will be having 17 treatments, Monday through Friday beginning the first week of February.  Then I can put all this behind me, wow - that's gonna be a good day!

I'll be good as new, just in time for spring - heck yes!

The last thing to say, is thank goodness its almost FRIDAY!  YAY!

Hope you all have a good weekend.  :)

Kerri




Peace Out Chemo!


Peace OUT Chemo!

Friday was my last treatment!  It went well, as usual.  Here is one of my nurses, Barbara, taking out the IV from my port for the LAST time.  YAAAAAAAY!  My Mom came up to go with me, and Ben was able to make it there about half way through.  My Mom and Dad gave me a beautiful crystal "superstar" necklace to congratulate me on my treatment!  Its a swarovski star necklace, and I love it!  Ben gave me a dozen beautiful red roses, thank you husband!  I also got roses from Kristen and Matt, along with a book titled "Are you there Vodka?  It's me Chelsea" - I busted out laughing at this, it's a book by comedian Chelsea Handler and she cracks me up.  I also received many phone calls and texts.  Thank you all so much for making me feel special.  It felt so good walking out of that place!  Mom, thank you so much for driving up to go with me, love you!

We had a good weekend, basically just relaxing at the house.  I think the only time I left was to go to the grocery store with Ben, but hey, everyone needs a weekend like that every now and then.  Sunday was my tired day, but it wasn't as bad as it usually is.  The only thing different this time is the headaches, which the weather probably has contributed to.  I've always been sensitive to weather, so I wasn't surprised.  My hair is still coming out like crazy, I seriously don't know how I have any left on my head!  It's insane!  Now I have these little broken pieces that stick straight up, I look like alfalfa at times.  You should see it when it's wet - I was thinking I resemble the guy from Tales from the Crypt (ok not really, but funny) or Gollum from the Lord of the Rings.  Ha!  It's not that bad, but it better stop falling out soon or I'm gonna have to get a toupe.  ;)

We are off to Charleston this weekend!  I'm SO Excited!  We are leaving Friday morning and are going to visit one of my best friends, Kristie, and go to the EAGLES concert Friday night.  I seriously cannot wait.

I will find out next week about my appointment with the radiation oncologist.  I'll be in touch!

Love you all!

Kerri

Almost there!

Today was my 8th treatment, and everything went well!  My sister-in-law Kristen went with me this time, and we got the private room!  YAY!   We were there for about 2 hours total, a very fast treatment - that always makes me happy!  My blood counts are awesome, as always.  Thank you Kristen for going with me and keeping me company!  Thank you Lord for allowing me to still be doing so well, I was afraid it would get progressively worse - but it hasn't.  I asked Dr. H if I could move my last chemo up a few days since we got Eagles tickets for Christmas from one of my best friends, Kristie, and the concert is on Jan 16th in Charleston - 3 days after my last chemo was scheduled.  I just couldn't have that - I HAVE to go to this concert, you all just don't understand how much we love the Eagles!  This will be my 4th time seeing them!  So, he has rescheduled it for Friday, Jan 9th!  The countdown has begun!  Kristie you are awesome, seriously we cannot wait to come visit!  I will be SO GLAD when chemo is over, of course I still have radiation, but the chemo is just getting old.  My hair is still falling out, and I don't know how much longer I can take it.  I have a "nub" ponytail now - its about a third of the size it used to be.  It's so thin!  Of course, I can still somehow manage to make it look decent if I go to a party of something, but its so fragile and just goes everywhere when I dry it.  I will never take my hair for granted again, it used to be so pretty without even having to do anything to it.  I can't wait for it to grow back in.  Wonder what it will look like?


Anyways, I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas!  I can't believe it's come and gone!  We had a wonderful Christmas with Ben's side of the family, it was so good to spend time with everyone.  The New Year is just around the corner, and I am really looking forward to starting fresh in 2009.  2008 was a year we will never forget, and I hope and pray we'll never have a year like that again.  Who knew that 2008 would bring shock, horror and frustration to our family?  You just never know what's in store for you, and it's important to live everyday to the fullest.  I hope all of you have a FUN New Year's!  Ben and I have the rest of the week off, and we will be enjoying every second of it.  Of course the chemo is cramping my style this year, so I'll be drinking sparkling cider New Year's Eve - I love champaign and I will miss it.  Maybe I'll drink some this coming weekend.  Yall pull for the COCKS in the Outback bowl, we will need some help!  Love you all, and I'll be in touch soon...

Flashy New Year



Kerri

7 down, 2 to go...

Hey there!


7 DOWN, I can finally see the light at the end of this dark tunnel.  Once again, everything went according to plan this past Tuesday.  My mother-in-law, Linda Stephenson, went with me this time and I want to thank her for driving all the way from Charlotte to go with me!  It was nice to get to spend some time with her.  I didn't get my favorite private room this time, but I am a little bit spoiled with that room so we sat out there in the big room with everyone else.  The whole treatment took a little under 3 hours this time, so not too bad.  We went to lunch afterwards and just had a nice day. 

I thought I was going to pull a fast one on Dr. H this time, but he caught me.  I had really been wanting to just do 8 treatments, and I was like "oh isn't next time the last one?"  and he replied promptly with a "NO".  That wasn't the answer I was looking for.  Oh well, what can ya do, so 9 it is!  I will start radiation 3 weeks after that.  He is comparing radiation to a field goal in a football game, just finishing the job.  I will be in touch on when that starts, but I've heard it will wear you out so lets see if I can be superwoman for a little bit longer and get through this radiation without feeling terrible.

We are getting ready to celebrate Christmas next week!  I seriously can't believe it's here - WOW.  The past 4 months have FLOWN by!  I remember thinking, well by Christmas I'll be almost done with this stuff.  And here we are!  Our house looks so pretty at Christmas, I was thinking the other day what it will look like when I take all of this stuff down, and I think it will be bare as a bone.  I guess I'll just have to buy more stuff!  I am going to visit my side of the family in NA this weekend and will be coming back to Atlanta on Tuesday.  I wish Ben could come with me, but he is working so hard at his new position that he can't go with me this time. We'll miss him terribly!  I am looking forward to spending some time with my Mom and Dad, Stephen and Brandy, my niece Lauren and my nephew Phillips.  This year we spend Christmas with Ben's side of the family, and I'm excited to see everyone, especially our adorable niece Sydney and nephew Braden, and Ben's sister Steph and her husband Mike.  We just don't see them as much as we would like because they live in Virginia!  

Thank you again Mrs. Linda for going with me to my treatment!

I hope all of you have a blessed Christmas and I will be in touch soon - we are looking forward to a new beginning in 2009.  Its gonna be a good year, I can feel it.

Love you all!

Kerri


Complete Remission!

Hey there!  


Ben and I had an awesome day!  I have been declared in "complete remission" by my oncologist - all I can say is WOW, that chemo stuff really does work.  It's no joke!  I am declaring myself a certified hodgkin's lymphoma butt-kicker.  Well, I've had some help with the hardcore drugs I have had in my system for the last 2.5 months, but this stuff can't be beat without a good atittude to go along with it.  It will beat you down if you let it.  So, with 6 treatments behind me I am almost there!  Here is what my oncologist is suggesting I do from here on out:

3 more chemo treatments, which will be 9 total.  That was shocking to me, but hey, they're the experts not me.
4 weeks of radiation that starts 3 weeks after my last chemo, and it has to be done Monday - Friday!  Good thing it only takes about 30 minutes.  (another shocker)

They are being very careful with me and are doing all preventative measures possible to ensure this stuff never returns.  That is fine by me, do it now - and they I'm done for all eternity!  Maybe this is my time to have cancer, maybe I won't have it when I'm older.  That would be ideal now wouldn't it?

My question is, what will they be doing with that laser during 4 weeks of radiation?  Won't it all be gone by then?  Who knows, but that's my only question now.  If I'm in remission, then what is this chemo killing now?  Good cells?  Aaaaggghhhhhh!  I'm going to quit worrying and let these 2 oncologists do their job.  Doctor H is consulting with Doctor Flowers, head of the Lymphoma unit at Emory, and I guess they both know what they are talking about.  He is what I would consider "hardcore" and I think he would make me do 12 treatments total if it were up to him.  I think that's a little much, but let's leave the magic to those guys with the "Dr" in front of their name!

Ben, thank you for being there with me today - you are undoubtedly the best husband in the world.  I love you!

Thank you all for the prayers about today, and about me and my family.  The Lord has blessed us in so many ways.  Thank you!

I'll be in touch yall :)

Love,

Kerri, TCHLBK






Pain in the neck...literally.

Hey all,


I've got a pain in the neck...literally!  It started Sunday afternoon and it has progressively become worse every day!  I guess maybe it's a little better today, but this thing has gone from a pain in my neck to a pain in my you know what.  I haven't felt good all week, just tired and really just don't want to do anything but sit at home on the couch.  Maybe its the weather?  Maybe its that I'm just sick of all this?  Maybe its because I want my old body back?  STUPID CHEMO!  

Here's another thing that's irritating me to the core - my hair is thinning like a dog with the mange.  Every time I brush it, it just goes everywhere.  Of course you still can't really tell that it's thinning, but those of you who really know me can tell.  I have the thickest hair out of just about everyone I know...so that's a lot to lose, which is a good thing.  Those chicks with thin hair to begin with, there's just not much you can do.  So, with that said - maybe I won't lose all of it - but dang I would almost consider shaving it to not have to clean out the thousands of hairs all over my house!  It's so messy and borderline gross.  

Yall don't worry about me, its just one of those weeks...we all have them from time to time.

All I can do is laugh at myself, put my big girl panties on - and DEAL WITH IT.

A valuable sermon - Don't Give Up!

Hey all,

Ben and I had a wonderful weekend relaxing at our house - it was a much needed weekend of doing absolutely nothing. I haven't slept that much in probably years, so I guess I needed that! We went to church yesterday and I can't seem to get the sermon out of my head. I wish all of you could have heard this sermon, it was really a valuable lesson in life. Anyone can relate to it, as we have all had tough times and many of us out there are worried about our health, our jobs, our financial situation, etc. It talked about how living the Christian life is not easy, and how when you think nothing else can go wrong, everything turns around for the better and you realize what you have just gone through is really a blessing. You wouldn't be the same person if you had not gone through it. It began with these verses from 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

8) We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9) persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Our pastor talked about how you must pray for exactly what you need - don't beat around the bush. If you are having health issues, ask for the strength to keep on going.  If you are having troubles in your marriage, ask Him to strengthen your bond. If you are having financial troubles, ask Him what you should do to overcome this obstacle. If you find yourself without a job, ask Him to give you the courage to go out there and find another one. He said you must be specific and that you must not forget the power of prayer.

I personally found this sermon very comforting and thought I would share it with all of you.

Don't give up!

Love you all!