Christmas Pajamas -- A Look Back
12 years ago
Almost there!
Today was my 8th treatment, and everything went well! My sister-in-law Kristen went with me this time, and we got the private room! YAY! We were there for about 2 hours total, a very fast treatment - that always makes me happy! My blood counts are awesome, as always. Thank you Kristen for going with me and keeping me company! Thank you Lord for allowing me to still be doing so well, I was afraid it would get progressively worse - but it hasn't. I asked Dr. H if I could move my last chemo up a few days since we got Eagles tickets for Christmas from one of my best friends, Kristie, and the concert is on Jan 16th in Charleston - 3 days after my last chemo was scheduled. I just couldn't have that - I HAVE to go to this concert, you all just don't understand how much we love the Eagles! This will be my 4th time seeing them! So, he has rescheduled it for Friday, Jan 9th! The countdown has begun! Kristie you are awesome, seriously we cannot wait to come visit! I will be SO GLAD when chemo is over, of course I still have radiation, but the chemo is just getting old. My hair is still falling out, and I don't know how much longer I can take it. I have a "nub" ponytail now - its about a third of the size it used to be. It's so thin! Of course, I can still somehow manage to make it look decent if I go to a party of something, but its so fragile and just goes everywhere when I dry it. I will never take my hair for granted again, it used to be so pretty without even having to do anything to it. I can't wait for it to grow back in. Wonder what it will look like?
Kerri
7 down, 2 to go...
Hey there!
7 DOWN, I can finally see the light at the end of this dark tunnel. Once again, everything went according to plan this past Tuesday. My mother-in-law, Linda Stephenson, went with me this time and I want to thank her for driving all the way from Charlotte to go with me! It was nice to get to spend some time with her. I didn't get my favorite private room this time, but I am a little bit spoiled with that room so we sat out there in the big room with everyone else. The whole treatment took a little under 3 hours this time, so not too bad. We went to lunch afterwards and just had a nice day.
I thought I was going to pull a fast one on Dr. H this time, but he caught me. I had really been wanting to just do 8 treatments, and I was like "oh isn't next time the last one?" and he replied promptly with a "NO". That wasn't the answer I was looking for. Oh well, what can ya do, so 9 it is! I will start radiation 3 weeks after that. He is comparing radiation to a field goal in a football game, just finishing the job. I will be in touch on when that starts, but I've heard it will wear you out so lets see if I can be superwoman for a little bit longer and get through this radiation without feeling terrible.
We are getting ready to celebrate Christmas next week! I seriously can't believe it's here - WOW. The past 4 months have FLOWN by! I remember thinking, well by Christmas I'll be almost done with this stuff. And here we are! Our house looks so pretty at Christmas, I was thinking the other day what it will look like when I take all of this stuff down, and I think it will be bare as a bone. I guess I'll just have to buy more stuff! I am going to visit my side of the family in NA this weekend and will be coming back to Atlanta on Tuesday. I wish Ben could come with me, but he is working so hard at his new position that he can't go with me this time. We'll miss him terribly! I am looking forward to spending some time with my Mom and Dad, Stephen and Brandy, my niece Lauren and my nephew Phillips. This year we spend Christmas with Ben's side of the family, and I'm excited to see everyone, especially our adorable niece Sydney and nephew Braden, and Ben's sister Steph and her husband Mike. We just don't see them as much as we would like because they live in Virginia!
Thank you again Mrs. Linda for going with me to my treatment!
I hope all of you have a blessed Christmas and I will be in touch soon - we are looking forward to a new beginning in 2009. Its gonna be a good year, I can feel it.
Love you all!
Kerri
Complete Remission!
Hey there!
Ben and I had an awesome day! I have been declared in "complete remission" by my oncologist - all I can say is WOW, that chemo stuff really does work. It's no joke! I am declaring myself a certified hodgkin's lymphoma butt-kicker. Well, I've had some help with the hardcore drugs I have had in my system for the last 2.5 months, but this stuff can't be beat without a good atittude to go along with it. It will beat you down if you let it. So, with 6 treatments behind me I am almost there! Here is what my oncologist is suggesting I do from here on out:
3 more chemo treatments, which will be 9 total. That was shocking to me, but hey, they're the experts not me.
4 weeks of radiation that starts 3 weeks after my last chemo, and it has to be done Monday - Friday! Good thing it only takes about 30 minutes. (another shocker)
They are being very careful with me and are doing all preventative measures possible to ensure this stuff never returns. That is fine by me, do it now - and they I'm done for all eternity! Maybe this is my time to have cancer, maybe I won't have it when I'm older. That would be ideal now wouldn't it?
My question is, what will they be doing with that laser during 4 weeks of radiation? Won't it all be gone by then? Who knows, but that's my only question now. If I'm in remission, then what is this chemo killing now? Good cells? Aaaaggghhhhhh! I'm going to quit worrying and let these 2 oncologists do their job. Doctor H is consulting with Doctor Flowers, head of the Lymphoma unit at Emory, and I guess they both know what they are talking about. He is what I would consider "hardcore" and I think he would make me do 12 treatments total if it were up to him. I think that's a little much, but let's leave the magic to those guys with the "Dr" in front of their name!
Ben, thank you for being there with me today - you are undoubtedly the best husband in the world. I love you!
Thank you all for the prayers about today, and about me and my family. The Lord has blessed us in so many ways. Thank you!
I'll be in touch yall :)
Love,
Kerri, TCHLBK
5th treatment is history...
Maxine cracks me up...a little Thanksgiving Maxine for ya.
Well, so far so good after my 5th treatment this past Tuesday! I have felt the same as I always do the days after treatment, just kind of blah and out of it. I'm feeling pretty good today so that makes me happy. We are having a Thanksgiving feast at work today, so that alone put me in a good mood this morning! Yall know I love food. My Mom has been here all week and she always makes us feel so taken care of! I tell ya, we could get used to her cooking. My Mom rivals Paula Deen, I'm serious. The lady can cook. And my house is always so beautiful when she leaves. She seems to know how to clean things that I've never even thought of. We got my house decorated for Christmas yesterday, and that is a job in itself. I was pretty tired after that! Thanks Mom for being here with me and helping us out this week, love you!
My hair is still thinning, and it's still annoying, but I've still got it!
I know you have all been wondering about the PET scan, well its scheduled for this coming Tuesday at 10 am. I am hoping they can use my port, but we'll see. I'm not looking forward to it, but it has to be done. It takes about 3 hours and that just seems like a long time to me. They put radioactive glucose in my veins and I have to sit there for an hour and let it run through me. Then I have to be scanned, and that is a pain. I can't move, and last time my arms fell asleep. Not fun! Please pray for me! I am hoping that if anything does show up, it's tiny and can be zapped with the rest of my chemo. We shall see. We won't know anything until my next chemo appointment, which is December 2nd.
I hope all of you have an awesome Thanksgiving! It's my favorite holiday of the year, well besides Christmas. My Mom's dressing is so freaking good, I can't wait for it! And my Dad and Brother make a mean grilled turkey. We will be heading to good ole NA next week for Turkey Day. Im looking forward to spending time with the fam and good friends. Lurn Jones, can't wait to see you!
I'll be in touch next week about the PET scan - 'till then, love yall!
Pain in the neck...literally.
Hey all,
I've got a pain in the neck...literally! It started Sunday afternoon and it has progressively become worse every day! I guess maybe it's a little better today, but this thing has gone from a pain in my neck to a pain in my you know what. I haven't felt good all week, just tired and really just don't want to do anything but sit at home on the couch. Maybe its the weather? Maybe its that I'm just sick of all this? Maybe its because I want my old body back? STUPID CHEMO!
Here's another thing that's irritating me to the core - my hair is thinning like a dog with the mange. Every time I brush it, it just goes everywhere. Of course you still can't really tell that it's thinning, but those of you who really know me can tell. I have the thickest hair out of just about everyone I know...so that's a lot to lose, which is a good thing. Those chicks with thin hair to begin with, there's just not much you can do. So, with that said - maybe I won't lose all of it - but dang I would almost consider shaving it to not have to clean out the thousands of hairs all over my house! It's so messy and borderline gross.
Yall don't worry about me, its just one of those weeks...we all have them from time to time.
All I can do is laugh at myself, put my big girl panties on - and DEAL WITH IT.
4 down and USC-Tenn Tailgate!
This past weekend, me, Ben, Kristen and Matt all went to Columbia for the USC-Tenn game. The weather couldn't have been more beautiful, it was actually hot Saturday afternoon! We had lunch at one of our favorite places in Columbia, the Salty Nut Cafe. I spent many days and nights at that place in college - you just can't beat it. We met up with a bunch of our friends in the fairgrounds that afternoon. It was fun to get to hang out with everyone. We met up with Chris and Laura, the other two-some of our original tailgate crew, and took this awesome picture. We stayed the night at Chris and Laura's and got to see their beautiful 3.5 month old again. We love her! It was such a fun day! And to top it all off, we ended up beating Tennessee to a pulp. That hasn't happened in years...GO COCKS! What a great weekend.
I have been feeling really good lately. The fatigue hasn't been that bad and I've been able to pretty much do anything I could before all this happened. The only thing I haven't tried is the elliptical - still a little scared to sweat as I have this vision that I will pass out. Who knows, maybe I'll get up the courage and try it soon. I am working from home today, and will probably continue to do so on the Thursdays after treatment. Today I am feeling ok - just a little tired but not terrible. It's so nice to not have to get up and get myself ready - I could get used to this.
Thanks again for the continued prayers - and for all of the sweet comments on here. I just love reading them.
I'll be in touch! Love you all!
A valuable sermon - Don't Give Up!
Hey all,
Ben and I had a wonderful weekend relaxing at our house - it was a much needed weekend of doing absolutely nothing. I haven't slept that much in probably years, so I guess I needed that! We went to church yesterday and I can't seem to get the sermon out of my head. I wish all of you could have heard this sermon, it was really a valuable lesson in life. Anyone can relate to it, as we have all had tough times and many of us out there are worried about our health, our jobs, our financial situation, etc. It talked about how living the Christian life is not easy, and how when you think nothing else can go wrong, everything turns around for the better and you realize what you have just gone through is really a blessing. You wouldn't be the same person if you had not gone through it. It began with these verses from 2 Corinthians 4:8-9
8) We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9) persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
Our pastor talked about how you must pray for exactly what you need - don't beat around the bush. If you are having health issues, ask for the strength to keep on going. If you are having troubles in your marriage, ask Him to strengthen your bond. If you are having financial troubles, ask Him what you should do to overcome this obstacle. If you find yourself without a job, ask Him to give you the courage to go out there and find another one. He said you must be specific and that you must not forget the power of prayer.
I personally found this sermon very comforting and thought I would share it with all of you.
Don't give up!
Love you all!
3rd treatment down and Charleston Light the Night
Hey all,
I had my 3rd treatment this past Tuesday and everything went according to plan! It took longer than usual because they put me on a pump, but oh well, different nurses to different things. I am working from home today, and I am feeling better than I usually do 2 days after treatment. Maybe that's because I slept for about 11 hours last night! I'm still tired, but I am able to eat more than usual which is good. I got some very good news from my oncologist, Dr. H - he says I don't even have to come get my blood tested every week because I'm doing so well. How awesome is that! I am his youngest patient by far and compared to the last patient with Hodgkin's - he says its astounding the difference between the two of us. She did not handle the treatments very well, and I seem to be doing extremely well - so that is awesome news. That's one less needle stick I have to deal with every week! YAY!
I know you have all been waiting to see pics from the Charleston Light the Night - so here they are! Thanks again to Kristie for organizing TEAM KERRI, and to everyone who walked in my honor. Yall are great friends!
I am rockin...
My blood counts are good once again - this is just fantastic! I was a tiny bit anemic, but it is nothing to worry about. I also got a flu shot today, and that wasn't too bad either. The port needle access did hurt a little, but it was only for a second so no big deal.
There is one more thing I am shocked about...I still have a full head of hair - YAY! Lets hope and pray it stays that way!
I'll be in touch :)
2008 Light the Night Walk - Atlanta
This past Saturday was the 2008 Light the Night Walk in Atlanta. The day started with a surprise visit by some of my closest friends, Chris and Laura Herron, who drove all the way from Columbia to spend the day with me! Lori Tvarkunas, Brandon Lacey, and Rob Stanfield also surprised me as well. This added to my original crew of my husband Ben, Steve and Linda Stephenson, Kristen and Matt Stephenson and my Mom and Dad. We all watched the Carolina-Kentucky game over at Kristen and Matt's house (thank goodness we won, go cocks!) and then headed downtown to Centennial Olympic Park. The weather was perfect, and we were on Ben's Enterprise Rent-A-Car Team of about 200 walkers. I had never participated in a charity event before, but I will never miss another one of these walks. It was so awesome to see how many people came out to show support - I think around 12,000 people were there and together raised over $1 million. It's really something to see all of those balloons lighting up simultaneously. I want to thank everyone who was there supporting me, and thank you to Kristen and Matt for organizing and hosting Saturday's surprise for me. I have the best family and friends anyone could ever ask for.
Love you all!
2 down!
In the words of my oncologist, I am his "perfect patient" - and that alone puts a smile on my face! He told us today that people either do very well, or they feel like they've just been put through 2 weeks of hell, so I guess I am one of the lucky ones that has done well with my first chemo treatment. I had my second treatment today, and once again, it was cake. Why can't they make all tests for cancer as easy as this? I guess I'll go ahead and shut up before I put my foot in my mouth and jinx myself! I feel ok right now, but am assuming I will get a little more sluggish by the hour. So, 2 down - 6 to go!
This past weekend, we went to Isle of Palms, SC and had an absolute blast! We stayed at the unbelievably gorgeous Wild Dunes Resort. Kristie, my best friend from college, has worked here for several years and it really must be awful to look at that scenery all day long! HA! Our ocean front house was stunning - and really comfortable for 8 people which was so nice. It was so much fun to hang out with family and great friends. We had some awesome seafood while we were there and ate at restaurants on the water twice. None of us wanted to come home yesterday, we literally could have stayed for weeks! Thanks again Kristie for such a fun time - we will never forget this trip!
Today was a good day!
Hey there,
I had my first blood draw today and my blood counts are good! The port needle didn't hurt at all, so I'm pretty happy today. I am feeling like my old self, finally. Just wanted to let you all know in case you were wondering...
I am off to get my hair cut this evening, but I have been advised not to color it by the nurses. I guess I'll be walking around looking like peppy le pew with bi-color hair here shortly. That's if I don't lose it! Yall please pray I don't lose it, I really don't want to.
My Mom told me about a funny website today: http://imtooyoungforthis.org and here are several things on there I find hilarious!
And this is a throw pillow - ha!!
Until next time - love yall!
A win's a win!
Hey all,
Is it really Monday already? Weekends are never long enough! I'm at work today, but I decided I am tired of condensing manuals, so here I am writing on here. I have felt weird all day, and am yawning out of control, but I'm pushing through it and will most likely stay until 5. They say a week after treatment is when your blood counts are at their lowest, so I am guessing that's why I am dragging today. We will see tomorrow - my first blood draw from my port is at 11, hopefully they don't send me straight home!
This past weekend, Ben and I decided to go to the USC-UAB game in Columbia. I had considered staying home, but I've seen enough of my house lately - so we went. It was so much fun! The weather was perfect, and we saw a bunch of good friends and family that we haven't seen in a while which is always a good time. Ben's sister and her husband came down from Virginia, along with several of their good friends. We also saw Chris and Laura's little girl, Raegan, who is such a sweet little thing! It was so good to see everyone!
So, all in all - it was an awesome weekend with one exception. Note to self: Do not attempt to walk all the way to Williams Brice Stadium, then walk up to the nosebleeds and climb 100 stairs after having chemotherapy. You will pass out. I almost did and got that funny feeling you get right before you do pass out - but somehow I didn't. That was just dumb and I guess I think I'm superwoman, but hey, at least now I know my limits!
I'll be in touch!
Love you all
Today is a sleepy day...
Hey all,
Today has been a sloooooow day, I have been dragging all day but nothing a little nap won't take care of. It seems to be coming in waves now, so there will be moments where I feel 100%, and others where I just don't want to get up. You know that feeling you get right before you get sick, or catch a cold? That's what I feel like today. Not terrible, but not good either. I stayed home from work again today, but I think I'll go in tomorrow just to get out of the house!
I want to bring attention to my Light the Night page - thanks so much to all of you who have donated! I HAVE REACHED MY GOAL!
I would also like to bring attention to the Charleston Light the Night page for Team Kerri - thank you so much to Kristie Santora for starting this for me and everyone who will be walking in my honor. Yall are so awesome!
Thanks again for the endless prayers and support - love you all!
Kerri
1 down! Its over...at least for now.
Hey all,
First things first, I survived the first treatment! Yesterday was a double whammy because I had the port put in in the morning and chemo in the afternoon. The port took about an hour to put in, and they did make me super sleepy which was good. Ben and my Dad went to get me Chick-fil-a right after so that made me happy! You all know anytime I can eat I am happy. I felt better after getting something in my stomach - it was roaring like a freight train before they wheeled me in the radiology room. I am so sore today - it feels like someone punched me in the chest. You don't realize how much you use those muscles until someone cuts them! The port is sewn into my chest wall and believe me, I can feel it. It hurts to smile, it hurts to talk, and turning over in the bed is nearly impossible. I have been trying to take Tylenol instead of the Loritab because that stuff is so strong and I would rather be coherent than just sleep 24 hours a day. Its working ok and hopefully it won't be as sore tomorrow.
Ok, so on to the chemo. They wheeled me to the next building where my oncologist is (pretty convenient!) and I got my own room which was nice. They nurses began giving me an anti-nausea drip and then started the chemo. I am on a regimen called ABVD which is 4 different drugs. The A drug is the strongest of the bunch and its the one that will basically kill every cell in its path, make your hair fall out, make you pee red, and just make you feel terrible. I got that one first and then on to the others. I was thinking that I would immediately feel bad but I didn't at all. After it was all said and done, it took a little over 2 hours. The port is a life-saver, all they do is hook it up and you just sit there! They can even draw blood from it which ROCKS. I hate needles so this is just awesome! I will absolutely endure some soreness if I never have come in contact with the idiots that can't put an IV in.
So, all in all - it wasn't that bad. I am wondering if this stuff will really hit me tomorrow - the nurse said it might wait a couple days to show its ugly face. I am pretty tired today, but its nothing I can't handle.
I am going to try my hardest to make it to the USC-UAB game this weekend, its driving me crazy not being able to be with my Gamecocks.
Thank you to my awesome husband Ben, and my wonderful parents for being there with me yesterday - I love yall!
I will be in touch! Until then, thanks for the comments, cards, flowers, emails, and calls - yall are too sweet!
Love you all!
Kerri
Here we go...
Well, after what has been probably the hardest month of my life I believe the hardest part is over. Hopefully. Anyways, I named this blog after one of Ben and my's favorite songs by Tom Petty - The Waiting. This is so true when you are faced with a tough challenge in life, the waiting is always the hardest part. Here are some of the lyrics to the song:
The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part
Now this all went from me finding a lump just above my left collarbone to knowing I have cancer in about 2 weeks time. I will tell you that if you think you've had roller coaster emotions before, try dealing with that. At first they thought it was Cat Scratch Disease. I wish! My ENT scheduled me for a CT scan (with an IV contrast I might add, almost passed out having that put in) to take a look at my head and neck. I get through that and proceed to stuff my face with as much Chick-fil-a as I could buy since I hadn't been allowed to eat all day. I get home and just get comfortable when my ENT called and said that I need to come into the office immediately. I was like "NOW?, is there something wrong???" Can you imagine driving over there? I honestly don't remember it. I don't know how I got there. I almost threw up several times from the severe anxiety. And through all of this, I was BY MYSELF. No one was with me, no one to calm me down. It was absolutely the most horrible day of my life. He came into the room, calmly sat down and said this was most likely lymphoma. I had several lymph nodes in my neck and upper chest that were enlarged, and he said that is clear signs of cancer. I was in shock. Meanwhile, Ben is about to board a plane in Dallas - he finds this out from me about 5 minutes before takeoff. He cried the entire flight and you all know Ben hates flying. I felt so sorry for him. Meanwhile, my parents are scrambling to get their things together and get to Atlanta as soon as possible. I'm sure that was not an easy drive. To make matters worse, my ENT schedules an emergency biopsy for the very next afternoon. FUN! So, they put me under on Friday, August 29th and take out the swollen lymph node in my neck. Its Labor Day weekend - we won't know anything until the following Tuesday at the very earliest. So, we tried to forget about it that weekend and just have a good time. And we did. I got the call that Tuesday morning, September 2nd while I was at work. I had to hold it all in until my Mom came to pick me up. That was a bad day. Two days later we found out it was Hodgkin's. And from there we have dealt with me having cancer. Crazy huh?
I have found that those days when we didn't know what kind of lymphoma I had were absolutely terrible. Even the days before when we just thought this was all a bad dream were the worst of my life. I am not sure me, Ben and my Mom said 3 words to each other during those 2 days. It was misery. We just couldn't talk, if we did it was tears. It's tough to celebrate when you have cancer, but when we found out it was Hodgkin's, what seemed like a thousand pound weight had been lifted off our shoulders. We knew it was WAY better than Non-Hodgkin's. We knew that it was a curable form of cancer. Who'd ever heard of such a thing? Curable cancer? Well I've got it.
I want to thank everyone who prayed for me and my family during those days - that was my greatest comfort and I truly believe my diagnosis was an answered prayer. Its just unbelievable how many people come out of nowhere that want to help you and comfort you - people who barely know you. It makes you stop and say "there really are good people in this world". It's just amazing who calls, who sends cards, who sends emails to let you know they are thinking of you. That means a lot.
So, here we go on this journey they call "chemo" - lets just hope my body can handle this stuff better than others.
I start Tuesday morning, Sept. 23rd at 8 am. I am having a port-a-cath put in at 8 am (another fun day at the hospital!) and then Chemo will start around noon.
Thanks again for all of the prayers - you have all been so good to me.
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