The Waiting is the Hardest Part: January 2009

Terrible Day

Hey all,

I had some kinda day yesterday. I woke up in kind of a bad mood, and I didn't quite know why. I thought it was the weather because it was really gross out yesterday, but I think my body was just foreseeing what would happen. I had my follow-up appointment at my radiation oncologist's office yesterday. I get there, and a technician comes out to get me and says this is the day we "will figure everything out". I thought oh well good, we can get the ball rolling ya know? So, they take me back and explain that they will be doing a "mask" today. I had read about these online. They didn't look like much fun at all. But, I figured hey, no needles, who cares! Now a mask looks something like this:

Freaky huh?

First they lay me down on the scanner, and start to position me so I am completely straight. Then, they begin to mark me up. I will have to be in the same position every day, so these marks are pretty important. They scan me once to see if I'm in the right position, and it looks good. So, they proceed to explain how this mask thing will work. It supposedly keeps my head in the same position, sure looks like it to me! They freaking bolt it to the table! So, they begin the process. They dip that thick mesh stuff in hot water, then slam it over my face. It was awkward, to say the least. I felt like I couldn't breathe for a minute. They begin fanning it so it will dry. After it has dried a bit, they do the CT Scan on me from head to stomach. OK, no big deal. Everything is still going pretty good at this point. Then this is when my day went from good to just plain terrible. They get me out of the scanner and begin to pull the mask off. It won't come off - IT IS STUCK TO HALF OF MY HAIR. Without any warning, the technician rips the right side of the mask off, hair and all. When she pulls it up a little, I can see about 30 hairs stuck to it, I mean long hairs from the root. I am in shock. She is repeatedly saying she's sorry, and I am kind of like, is this seriously happening right now? She says, I'm going to need you to get up and look in the mirror to see if you can get the other side of this mask off. Needless to say, I have to rip the thing from the left side of my hair, I didn't rip it out, just broke it off. Yall should have seen my hair. It looked like someone had just chewed it up, swallowed it, and spit it out. I am still in shock at this point. I get dressed, she gives me my next appt date, and I get out to the car. Then it hits me. I burst into tears, I mean sobbing whining tears. I couldn't believe what had just happened. The hair I had worked so freaking hard to keep was just ripped out by some idiot that can't do her job. Now, granted - you all won't be able to tell some hair is gone, but I sure can. It just looks worse than it did before I went in there. I didn't deserve that. I don't deserve any of the crap I've been through for the past 5 months. With that said, my sister-in-law Brandy and my Mom will be attending my next appointment with me on Monday. Brandy is a radiation oncology technician in Augusta, GA - and she knows exactly what should and shouldn't be done to me. She said she didn't even know why they did that mask. She also said that they should have known the mask would stick in my hair, and it was like they had never done that before. I am still just fuming mad over the whole situation.

So, yesterday was a terrible day. I hope I never have a day like again. EVER.

My next appointment is Monday at 11:30 - I will be tattooed then (oh joy!) and I will begin radiation on Tuesday, Feb. 3rd.

FUN STUFF PEOPLE!

Aren't you jealous?

Love yall, I will be in touch.

Kerri

The wrath of Gracie, LOST and radiation

For those of you who have never met our furry child Gracie before, well - you're missing out. She's part human, part cat. We treat her as our child. I swear she knows every word I say, and she is so freaking spoiled that she actually sleeps on a heating pad every night. I know, I'm a sucker for all things furry and cute, especially her. So, I decided that it was time for her annual check-up and took her into the vet's office Monday night. Thank goodness Ben got home early and was able to go with me. First off, as soon as we walk in the door she buries herself in the blanket I have in her carrier. I haven't seen her that scared in a while. Poor thing! We get into a room and the vet comes in and wants to weigh her. I somehow manage to get her up on the counter, and she weighs a whopping 13 pounds, 9 ounces. They were like, "wow, she's solid". I think what they meant to say, is "What the heck are you feeding this cat? She's a chunky monkey!" Keep in mind that Gracie is the most beautiful blue point siamese cat you've ever seen - and siamese cats are solid muscle. She actually looks skinny to me, but has this little pouch of a tummy that the vet says they refer to as a "sweeper". I thought that was cute! Now Gracie is on a diet, she only gets half of her wet food at night. So anyways, I ask if they can clip her nails for me. Sure no big deal right? HA! Think again. They began and when they got to the third nail, all hell broke loose. She started to growl and make noises I've never heard before. She was PISSED. They stopped and said they had never seen a cat act like that before. They decided to give her the shots first, and then got back to trimming those razors she had for nails. They began again, and this time she tries to bite the assistant! They have to go get a towel and put it over her face, and the vet then says to me "I'm sweating bullets" - I didn't know whether to laugh or be embarassed. Dang! With every nail they cut, the more violent she becomes. They finally cut all of them, and thank goodness because one more and I think she would have strangled herself. So, that was our fun Monday night! Gotta love our sweet angel Gracie, but man, she is a pistol!

So, LOST was new last night, we've been waiting for this for forever! The whole show was about time travel. This is just getting to be almost too much. Anyone else feel the same? I don't care though, its still the best show on TV. I just wanted to give it a shout-out cause we just love the show so much. They don't make'em like that anymore!

On to radiation - you know, the everyday beam to the throat I will be getting here in the next few weeks. I met with Dr. John Gargus this morning, and he is such a sweet man. His daughter is even thinking about going to USC, which made me like him even more. He explained that I would be having "involved field radiation" to the throat, chest and left underarm area. He said that the only thing that would really annoy me would be a sore throat. I almost said, "yeah and driving here every day for almost a month". Gotta do what I'm told I guess. I may also have some fatigue towards the end, but he said it wouldn't last long. Anyways, I will be having 17 treatments, Monday through Friday beginning the first week of February. Then I can put all this behind me, wow - that's gonna be a good day!

I'll be good as new, just in time for spring - heck yes!

The last thing to say, is thank goodness its almost FRIDAY! YAY!

Hope you all have a good weekend. :)

Kerri

THE EAGLES

Take it...to the limit...one more time.

If you've never seen the Eagles live, it's an experience that I just can't explain. It's pure, raw talent at its finest. Especially 20 yards from the stage!!! One of my bf's Kristie bought us tickets for Christmas and the seats were just awesome, we could see their facial expressions for crying out loud. I LOVED IT. This was my 4th time seeing them, and it never gets old. Last time we saw them outside in Atlanta, and the acoustics just weren't there. This time, we were at the North Charleston Coliseum which is a lot smaller than other venues, therefore making the sound just mind-numbing. They played Hotel California better than I've ever seen them play, and of course I called my brother and let him listen to the entire song on my cell. I do that every time for him. Ben and I also got to hear our wedding song "Love Will Keep Us Alive" - that one is a tearjerker anyways, and of course I got all teary-eyed when that came on. We had a great time, and I just want to say thank you Kristie for the best present ever - seriously it was so much fun! The whole weekend was fun. The concert was Friday night, so we still had one more night in Charleston after that. Yes! We went on a restaurant spree Sat night, deciding to stop at about 8 different places and have an appetizer each time. It was so much FUN, I think we'll do that every time we go somewhere now. Its just better to try more food, yall know I love food. Of any kind.

Ok - back to reality! My first appointment with my radiation oncologist is this Thursday, so hope all goes well! It's just a consultation, so I will let you all know what they say.

Also, I would like to wish my beautiful niece Lauren Johnson a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! She turns 15 this Thursday, a fellow 22nd in the family. There are 4 of us in the fam that have bday's on the 22nd of the month. Me, my Dad, Lauren and Ben's Dad. 22 is a good number for us! I can't believe how grown up Lauren is! She'll be going to college in no time!

Hope you all are having a good week and staying warm, its 33 in Atlanta today - ouch!

Love yall!

Kerri

Peace Out Chemo!

Peace OUT Chemo!

Friday was my last treatment! It went well, as usual. Here is one of my nurses, Barbara, taking out the IV from my port for the LAST time. YAAAAAAAY! My Mom came up to go with me, and Ben was able to make it there about half way through. My Mom and Dad gave me a beautiful crystal "superstar" necklace to congratulate me on my treatment! Its a swarovski star necklace, and I love it! Ben gave me a dozen beautiful red roses, thank you husband! I also got roses from Kristen and Matt, along with a book titled "Are you there Vodka? It's me Chelsea" - I busted out laughing at this, it's a book by comedian Chelsea Handler and she cracks me up. I also received many phone calls and texts. Thank you all so much for making me feel special. It felt so good walking out of that place! Mom, thank you so much for driving up to go with me, love you!

We had a good weekend, basically just relaxing at the house. I think the only time I left was to go to the grocery store with Ben, but hey, everyone needs a weekend like that every now and then. Sunday was my tired day, but it wasn't as bad as it usually is. The only thing different this time is the headaches, which the weather probably has contributed to. I've always been sensitive to weather, so I wasn't surprised. My hair is still coming out like crazy, I seriously don't know how I have any left on my head! It's insane! Now I have these little broken pieces that stick straight up, I look like alfalfa at times. You should see it when it's wet - I was thinking I resemble the guy from Tales from the Crypt (ok not really, but funny) or Gollum from the Lord of the Rings. Ha! It's not that bad, but it better stop falling out soon or I'm gonna have to get a toupe. ;)

We are off to Charleston this weekend! I'm SO Excited! We are leaving Friday morning and are going to visit one of my best friends, Kristie, and go to the EAGLES concert Friday night. I seriously cannot wait.

I will find out next week about my appointment with the radiation oncologist. I'll be in touch!

Love you all!

Kerri

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HEY THERE!

Happy New Year to all of you! Ben and I spent New Years Eve at home this year nursing my chemo hangover. We still had fun even though I was struggling a little bit. We made a feast of crab legs that night, and toasted with sparkling apple cider. It was so wonderful. We kicked 2008 out the door, and I cried when the clock struck 12 - I was seriously so happy for the new year. 2009 has been good so far!

Now, lets not talk about that bowl game - there's always next year right? Geez. We looked pitiful, maybe even borderline pathetic. Chris and Laura Herron came over to watch it with us, and I was so happy they came! I wasn't really feeling good that day, and they were so sweet to come over and just hang out with us. Thanks Herron's! Yall rock.

The pics above are from this past Saturdays "Beginning of a New Year" Party in North Augusta hosted by Scott and Ashley Gibbs. They threw it in my honor and everyone brought donations to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society! It was SO MUCH FUN, they had karaoke with a DJ - wow, I pity everyone who had to listen to me sing! Ben and I sang several songs including an Eagles duet (wow, I didn't know I was THAT bad) and as you can see from above, Ben and Matt also got up there and rocked it! I haven't laughed that hard in a while, I swear - when those two get together you are bound to have a stomach ache from laughing so hard. But, they did sing Skid Row like no other. Hi-la-ri-ous! Everyone just looked like they were having so much fun. I saw a LOT of people that I hadn't seen in months and even years. Thanks to everyone who came, and I want to say it means so much to me that everyone donated to my charity of choice. Thank you SO MUCH to Ashley and Scott for hosting this - they raised a total of $660.00 for the LLS! Way to GOOOOOO!

MY LAST CHEMO IS THIS FRIDAY at 11 am - I shiver even saying it - I am SO excited! If I can, I'm gonna do a heel kick and a freaking cartwheel outta that place! I will say BUH BYE to my nurses who have been so good to me - but I will say to them in the kindest words that I hope I never see them again, EVER AGAIN.

Wish me luck! LOVE YALL!

Kerri